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First of all, I’m from Los Angeles. The only kinds of supermodels that live in LA are the filthy rich ones. Heidi, Gisele, Miranda, Rosie, and Alessandra all live in LA while all the others live in the polluted pisshole known as the NYC. But in my defense, since we don’t have a fashion week in LA like they do in New York, we don’t get the luxury of seeing all the HF models like Karlie Kloss or Lara Stone walking down Hollywood Blvd.

That being said, the only time we ever see supermodels in LA is when Victoria’s Secret holds their in-store events at The Grove on Fairfax/3rd. I started going to these (semi) Free events in 2009 after I had heard (via PinkCouture from Bellazon) that VS was going to be hosting a special event with Marisa Miller. And that’s where it begins…..

[NOTE: All events mentioned below took place at the VS store at The Grove in LA before it closed in 2012.]

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MARISA MILLER – MARCH 2009

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This was the ONLY VS autograph-only event I’ve attended that has taken place on a Saturday. I got to view first-hand how VS works the press and how they pull off their events (poorly, I might add, due to inept security).

My first impression of Marisa was “Damn, she’s super skinny with a giant blonde mop on her head!” and “Wow, her hubby’s a neo-Maxi-zoom dweebie with a mohawk!” Plus I find it funny that Marisa was signing autographs on the smallest table they could find for her. The sad part about this? There were about 10-15 people in line. In case you forgot, this girl was on the 2008 covers of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue AND Maxim….yet only a few people (myself included) showed up to meet her. Unbelievable!

Here’s a couple of IPHONE snaps of Marisa that I took at the VS store while in stealth mode:

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Long story short, I had absolutely NOTHING interesting to say to Marisa when I approached her, so all I was able to say was, “I wanna give a shout-out to you from Bellazon!” She then said, “Alright!” and gave me a High-five. Uh-huh, Marisa Miller gave ME a high-five.

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That was the last and only time I saw Marisa cuz I heard on the Internets that she had gotten fired the following year. Allegedly.

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MIRANDA KERR (SKIPPY) – AUGUST 2009

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This autograph-only event took place on a weekday just on the cusp of the hot summer month of August where it was nearing 95-degree weather. As excited as I was to meet Miranda, I still had nothing to say to her, so my friend Sasha tells me, “Hey talk about ‘dagh’! She’ll know what you’re talking about!” Of course, I had ZERO idea what that term meant (apparently “dagh” is some kinda Aussie term), so it was worth a try.

When I got to the event, I sneaked into the store and saw Miranda working with the media and all I could think of when I first took a glance at her was, “Goddamn, she is TALL”. Of course, Skippy had the awful blonde hair which really didn’t compliment her beauty.

I took a few stealthy photos with my IPhone just for proof.

After standing in line for about an hour (along with a Bellazon friend named Bri), it was time to meet Miranda! As I approached her, I greeted her with a few compliments and then asked her about “dagh”. Turns out, we ended up having the weirdest 2-minute conversation about poop (AKA dagh). Me and Miranda talked about poop! That….just….happened!

Damn you, Sasha!!!

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CANDICE SWANEPOEL & ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY – MAY 2010

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This was the first photograph-only VS event I attended. The event took place in the early evening, which made standing in line more tolerable. Since we were only allowed to take one photo with the girls, I had to think of a way to make my photo stand out from everyone else’s.

Many of the girls in line that took photos were making Candice and Rosie do kissy faces or heart symbols and I thought, “This is so girly“, so I made up a new gimmick. When I approached Rosie, she shook my hand and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Rosie!” and I greeted her back. Then I looked at Candice (who is just drop-dead beautiful in person, I might add) and said, “Can I make a request?“
“Sure!“, she said back to me.

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“Could you guys make funny faces for me?” Yeah, I asked that question! Rosie then scoffed and said, “Oh, that’s easy!” We took the photo and now I’ve got a pic of myself and two of the world’s most beautiful supermodels making silly faces at the camera. EPIC SCORE!

[NOTE: A week after this event, news was announced that Rosie got the part in the third "Transformers" movie. That means we will NEVER see her modeling again (SIGH).]

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ADRIANA LIMA, CANDICE SWANEPOEL & LILY ALDRIDGE – SEPTEMBER 2010

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This was going to be a MAJOR big event, so I made sure to get to the Grove early. And, like I expected, there were a TON of media there. Adriana, Lily, and Candice walked out of the store in their candy-striped bustiers and caused a big scene, but I only got to see some of it cuz I was standing in line.

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BTW, the event was billed as a 3-hour autograph signing. What PISSED me off was that Adriana and the girls made everyone wait in line for another hour while they spoke to the mutherfuckin’ media! That means everyone in line lost a whole hour, making it a 2-hour event instead! By the time I approached Adriana, I wanted to tell her how much we appreciated her.

[NOTE: But before that, here's a shortened back-story. I was an Administrator at an Adriana Lima forum called Lima Fans. Supposedly, Adriana was a member of our forum posing under a pseudonym. In fact, I was told that Adriana had confirmed (supposedly) that her forum pseudonym was indeed her, which means she knows who we are.]

With that assumption in my mind, I approached Adriana and said to her:
“I’m with Lima Fans!“
“…..” No response.
She was looking at the picture she was signing, so I quickly said again, “I’m with Lima Fans!“. She looks up and says, “Thanks for coming“, winks at me and signs the next autograph, oblivious to my comment and not even the least bit interested in talking. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

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Before I could say anything else, security was quickly escorting me away. The look on my face was nothing but utter shock and bewilderment. As I was walking away, I was hoping she would look up and say something, but I got NOTHING. She couldn’t have cared any less. In my mind, I kept thinking, “Holy shit, what the fuck just happened?” Adriana spent a whole fuckin’ hour talking to the stupid-ass media yet she couldn’t spare 20 seconds to acknowledge our forum with an “Oh, thank you so much for supporting me” comment? I wasn’t asking for anything else!

Before I exited the line, Candice looked up at me and said “I love your shirt!“, so I’m guessing she loves American Idol (which was what I was wearing). I walked away from this event so angry and hateful of Adriana for being such an ignorant FAKE. Is this how she treats her fans trying to compliment her??? In fact, she was in such a rush that she didn’t even bother to spell my whole name on the fuckin’ photo!

(And, NO, I never once looked or spoke to Lily Aldridge.)

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ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO & ERIN HEATHERTON – MAY 2011

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This event was a two-part photograph-only event. Adriana (the total FAKE) and Candice took photos with fans earlier in the day while Alessandra and Erin took photos in the afternoon. Of course, I ignored Adriana and stood in line for Alessandra.

The event took place outdoors in the grassy area near the giant Grove fountain and I was first in line! After enduring an hour of standing in the hot sun (while some DJ blasted a bunch of Pop music), I approached Alessandra and Erin.

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[NOTE: But before I explain what happened with Alessandra, here's a little back-story. After the humiliating debacle I had with Adriana a few months earlier, I struggled to come to terms of whether I wanted to stay with the Lima Fans forum. I finally left that place and joined with an Alessandra Ambrosio forum (called "Alessandra's Beijos"), knowing fully that Alessandra was NOT a member of that forum but was aware of it.]

When I approached Alessandra, I told her that I was from the Alessandra’s Beijos forum and she lit up! “Oh, you’re from Beijos! Thank you so much for what you do for me!” And immediately I knew that Alessandra was the real deal. Not some faker like Adriana that doesn’t care. I told Alessandra about the Beijos forum and she had nothing but good things to say. After a brief convo, she said, “It’s funny, you guys sometimes know more about me than I do!” with a laugh. We snapped the photo and, I swear, I couldn’t have been more happier meeting Alessandra.

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Y’see? If only Adriana were as complimentary as Alessandra, I wouldn’t be so filled with hateful rage. After that meeting, I left with a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that Alessandra cares about her fans and truly interacts with them. UNLIKE ADRIANA.

(BTW, I feel kinda bad for Erin becuz I never once looked or spoke to her the entire time. But, hey, it sucks to be upstaged by the bigger talent.)

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CANDICE SWANEPOEL – JULY 2011

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I love Candice! Candice is such a sweet and nice girl. This was the first VS solo event of the year, so I had to go! Unfortunately, I almost bailed on the event due to time constraints but I changed my mind at the last minute and hauled ass to the Grove anyway.

And because of that, I got to the event late and I ended up standing towards the back of the line. And since I remembered Candice’s “I love your shirt!” comment from the last time, I wore the same American Idol t-shirt to the event. After an hour of trudging through the line, it was my turn to snap a photo with her.

I walked up to Candice, sat next to her and said “Hi, Candice!“
“Hi, nice to meet you…..” then she pauses and says, “….wait, we’ve met before, right?“
OH MY GOD, SHE REMEMBERS ME!!! This is so awesome! My American Idol t-shirt rules!

Again, I wanted my photo to stand out from the rest, so I said to Candice, “I have a request, could you rock out for me?” Without even hesitating, she puts up her hand and does the “hang-ten” sign and asked, “You mean this?” and I said “Yes!” (knowing it was the wrong one).

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And now I have a photo of Candice Swanepoel rockin’ out with the wrong hand signal (it was supposed to be the devil horns sign), but that’s okay, I still love Candice no matter what.

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LINDSAY ELLINGSON – SEPTEMBER 2011

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I came to this event not expecting much people. Why? Becuz Lindsay isn’t exactly a household name and it’s not like they have large photos of her ass on display at VS stores like they do with Candice or Erin. And, like I predicted, there were only about 10-15 people in line to meet her, myself included.

The photograph-only event took place in the later afternoon, so it was convenient to my schedule. I got in line an hour early and got to see Lindsay walk around the store as she was being followed by a bunch of female bloggers. After all that, Lindsay sat in her chair and started snapping photos with fan(s).

When I approached Lindsay, I had the same thing in mind to ask her to “rock out” the same way I asked Candice (hoping Lindsay might get it right). I approached Lindsay and the first thing she said was, “I love your shirt!” (I was wearing a Stewie Griffin shirt). Girls love my shirts.

Just like with Candice, I said, “I have a request, could you rock out for me?“
“You want me to WHAT?“
“Rock out. You know, the devil horns?“
“NO!!! THAT’S EVIL!“, she says with disgust.
“Aww, c’mon!“
“We’re supposed to be gorgeous!“

After she said that, she immediately posed and we snapped the photo and I quickly left. Look, I understand if Lindsay were some kinda religiously devout Christian girl and had she politely said, “No, sorry, it’s against my religion” or something like that, I would’ve said, “Okay, no problem” and let it go. But the disgust in her voice of telling me, “NO!!! THAT’S EVIL!” was not what I expected! So impolite! She’s just as bad, if not worse, as Adriana.

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I was being nice and polite to her and she shoots me down like some helpless animal! I shudder to think how she treats the rest of her fans that enjoy Rock music.

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ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO – MARCH 2012

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I really hate when celebrity events happen at the last minute. For this event, Alessandra Ambrosio made an announcement via Twitter and Facebook that she would host an event for the Philips Satin Razor at the Grove. The problem was that she announced it less than 24 hours earlier from the scheduled event! Regardless, I scrambled my schedule and made it out to the Grove on a Friday afternoon.

Since the event was an all-day event, Alessandra stayed there throughout the day signing autographs for fans on an hourly interval. I made it to the Grove at 6 PM and took a few snaps of the mini-stage/runway and the table where Alessandra was signing autographs. Check it out!

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Believe it or not, as I was snapping a few photos, Alessandra walked by me! She was hanging with some two-bit blonde heffer and her baby girl, Anja. (Now that I think about it, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen a supermodel offspring in person.) Anyway, she walked by me and I turned to the person I was with (Steel Machines) and said, “Hey, there’s Alessandra”.

As much as I wanted to approach Alessandra, I figured I had all the time to talk to her at the autograph signing, so I turned around and waited at the autograph table with another die-hard Alessandra fan (who I won’t name since she didn’t acknowledge me). About 20 minutes later, Alessandra approached the stage and said a few words to the crowd before quickly making her way to the autograph table.

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Within a few minutes of her sitting down, I approached her and had a nice little conversation. Of course, it was even better when she told me, “A-ha, I was expecting you! I saw on Twitter that you would be here” she said with a smile. Could she be any sweeter? I swear, she makes it so easy for fans unlike someone as cold-hearted as say, ADRIANA MUTHERFUCKIN’ LIMA.

Anyway, the meeting with Alessandra was brief but it went well! And much to my dismay, this may be the last time I meet her (or any other VS models) at the Grove.

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CANDICE SWANEPOEL & SKIPPY – MARCH 2012

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Like mentioned above, I hate when events are planned with only 24 hours on the clock. For this special VS event, the announcement was made the day before but I didn’t find about it until TWO hours before the event happened! As of March 2012, the Victoria’s Secret store at the Grove officially closed down and, from the looks of it, the new place for these VS events has been relocated to the Beverly Center in Beverly Hills.

The event took place at the newly remodeled Beverly Center (just 3 miles apart from the Grove). Even with only a 2-hour head’s up, I was still able to hightail it to the mall in time and get in line. Unlike the last VS event with Lindsay Ellingson, there were already a large number of people waiting in line. Considering that Skippy and Candice are the two hottest models in the world, there was no WAY the place wouldn’t fill up! By 6 PM, the line had grown to almost 150 people!

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Anyway, after trudging through the non-VIP line for an hour (sorry, but you VIP people are suckers), I caught of glimpse of Skippy and Candice making their way down the escalators and waving at screaming fangirls. After another 45 minutes of waiting, the line started moving my way and it was my turn! Yee-haw!

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As I walked up to them, Skippy and Candi turned to greet me and I greeted them back. I spoke to both ladies on various things (which I won’t discuss here) and we had a nice laugh and, YES, Candice still remembered me. A few seconds later, the photographer yelled out, “Alright, ready?” And just before he took the photo, I nonchalantly look at both ladies and said:

“Ladies, do you mind if we rock out?“
Skippy looked at Candice and said, “So, how do we rock out?” in her spicy Aussie accent.
I placed up the devil horn sign and Skippy said “Oh, okay!“
Candice found the whole thing funny cuz she was giggling so hard that she couldn’t even do the devil horn’s sign (AGAIN, sigh).

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But the photo still turned out awesome and I now have a picture of Skippy rocking out alongside me and Candice. This is definitely something you WON’T see Skippy doing anytime soon, so consider this photo a rarity! Y’see? This is why Candice and Skippy are the best becuz they rock so hard. UNLIKE LINDSAY ELLINGSON.

BONUS MOMENT: After we took the photo, I thanked them both and went on my merry way. As I was making way to the escalator to go upstairs, I looked towards the crowd and I was caught in a surreal moment. As I looked at the crowd, ALL of them were staring at me. As confused as I was for that quick millisecond, I heard Skippy’s voice walking up the escalator. Turns out she needed a quick break and she quickly walked past me and yelled to the crowd, “I’ll be right back!“

Yes, Skippy brushed past me in a hurry! How surreal was that! [And, before I forget, big props to VS security for not being a bunch of asswipes like they are at the Grove.]

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CANDICE, ALESSANDRA, AND DUCKY KLOSS – MARCH 2013

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It’s been a full year since I last went to a VS event in LA. There was one in September 2012 but I skipped it becuz Lindsay Ellingson is hateable so that doesn’t count. But, lo and behold, there was another one! The event was held at the Beverly Center on a Tuesday afternoon and I made it my mission to get there with enough time and not be late. Fortunately, the line wasn’t AS long as before (though there were still a lot of people).

One thing I knew was inevitable was the VS was NOT going to give the fans enough time to meet and chat with the Angels. Considering that there’s THREE of them, there was no way they could try to accommodate as many people within 2 hours. Anyway, after waiting in line for about an hour, the non-VIP people caught a glimpse of Ducky as she exited the store and chatted with some fans (for her “House of Style” show probably).

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The last couple of meetings I had were fun and exciting. But this time, I knew that my “rocking out” gimmick was getting old so I decided to forgo any hand symbols and just stand there and let the girls do their thing. It sounds unlike me but, like I said, VS security was not going to give us any time to chat with the models, so I ain’t gonna waste my time.

After waiting in line for nearly 90 minutes, I finally got towards the Angels and saw them as they did their flawless poses. I know everyone gives Ducky a lot of shit but I think she is a stunning girl and seeing her in person was no different. As I approached the ladies, I simply smiled at them and let them do the talking.

Alessandra turned to me and said, “Hi!” and I replied back.
I then turned to Candice and her eyes got wide, “Hey, nice to see you again! It’s been awhile!” and I replied back to her with some compliments. Y’see that? This is why Candice is the most awesome woman out there. I didn’t even say a word to her and she STILL REMEMBERED WHO I WAS. All the haters that bitch about her can choke on a fat chorizo and die!

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The photographer immediately signaled the girls and within a few seconds, he took the photo before I could even get a word in to Ducky. Regardless, I thanked the ladies and went on my merry way. One of these days, I’ll hope to speak to Ducky but Candice giving me the look of remembrance was all I needed to make this trip worthwhile. You rock, Candice!

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This is all the famous supermodels I’ve met so far. The only Angel I’ve yet to meet is Doutzen Kroes. Hopefully, soon, I hope!

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Big thanks to:
–PinkCouture
–Savanna @ Lima-Fans
–Sasha AKA NothingLess
–Bri @ Bellazon
–Alejandra @ Beijos

I love all you guys!